120 Miles of Brain Activity

I’ve been asked what I think about when I’m out on a 6 hour Ironman training ride.  Surely it must be boring, right?  Well, yeah, but there’s loads of things to think about!  So, while on my 120 miler Sunday I took a moment to actually pay attention to what was going through my head.  Here’s an excerpt:

Okay, left turn coming up.  Can I stay in aero position on this turn or should I sit up?  I can stay.  No let’s get up.  No stay.  Get up, get up, GET UP!!!!! Phew, that was a close one.  What was I thinking?!  It’s just a training ride.  Okay accelerate…..but stand to accelerate only for 8 strokes, no more!  1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10….dammit!  That’s too many.  Now your quads are blown!  That’s ridiculous, get in your aero position.  Turtle the neck!

Alright, settle into your pace now….not too hard.  That’s too easy.  I said not too hard.  That’s too hard!  Okay, there we go.  Nice form.  Make your hands perfectly symmetrical with all your fingers nice and aero.  I wonder if it’d be more aero just to have nubs instead of fingers?  What was that cool word Dantzler said she learned in school for fingers?  It sounded like ‘felatio.’ Whatever.  Turtle the head!  Time for a drink.  Quick swig, tuck the bottle back in.  Make your fingers aero, turtle the head.  Don’t look at the time. 

I need to pee.  Too bad.

What if money weren’t an option?  What would you buy for your bike?  A powermeter, definitely.  Some new Zipp wheels.  Zipp Vuka handlebars.  A cool paintj……WHOOOOAAAAAAA!  Dog!  Where’d you come from?!?!  “GO AWAY!  I DON’T WANNA PLAY!”  Damn, that was close.  Shit, he’s still there!  This dog’s fast.  Okay, hang on little fella.  Meh, dropped him.  Okay get ready for this next turn…..

……and accelerate!  Stand and pump.  Count strokes….1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10…..Nooooooooo!  Too many standing strokes!  Your quads are blown and the whole day is a disaster!  Wait, simmer down!  All’s fine.  Tuck in.  Turtle the head.  Aero hands.

This road sucks.

I wonder if I’ll be able to run all 6 miles after this.  Stop it.  We’re not a runner yet.  Not til we’re done cycling.  Just think about cycling!  How much longer til the end of this interval?  Don’t look.  You won’t like it.  Don’t look at the clock!  Awwwwww!  You looked at the clock!  Still 26 minutes and there are 7 more to go!  Oh damn.  That’s a long time to hold this pace.  You can do it!  Just get comfortable.  Get aero.  Well, which is it?  I dunno, just do something.  Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal. 

I need a song to keep me occupied.  “Ain’t nothin’ gonna break-a my stride!  Ain’t nothin’ gonna slow me do-own.  Oh no, I gots to keep on movin’!”  For real?  That’s the best you got?!  Okay, go with it.  Gosh, this is lame.

Hey, check out all those dead bugs stuck to my shoulder!  Gross!  Hey, no free rides!  Wait, turtle the head!  Stop looking at your stupid shoulder!  But there are bugs!  Tuck in, get aero!  Fine.  Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal.  I wonder if my face is covered in bugs too.  Gross.  My head hurts.  Live with it.  Pedal.  Now my back hurts.  Okay stand for a sec.  Quick stretch, stand and pedal but only for 8 strokes…1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10..11……Nooooooooooo!  That’s way too many!  You’ll blow your quads!  Get back in aero.  Turtle the head!

Oooh.  How about Rob Zombie?  “Never gonna stop me, never gonna stop!”  Yeah, that’s a good song.  Sing it over and over again!

Well, that’s about 2 minutes worth of a five and a half hour ride.  So, you can see it’s HIGHLY exciting to solo 120 miles every weekend.