I’ve been asked what I think about when I’m out on a 6 hour
Ironman training ride. Surely it must be
boring, right? Well, yeah, but there’s loads
of things to think about! So, while on
my 120 miler Sunday I took a moment to actually pay attention to what was going
through my head. Here’s an excerpt:
Okay, left turn coming
up. Can I stay in aero position on this
turn or should I sit up? I can
stay. No let’s get up. No stay.
Get up, get up, GET UP!!!!! Phew, that was a close one. What was I thinking?! It’s just a training ride. Okay accelerate…..but stand to accelerate
only for 8 strokes, no more!
1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10….dammit!
That’s too many. Now your quads
are blown! That’s ridiculous, get in
your aero position. Turtle the neck!
Alright, settle into
your pace now….not too hard. That’s too
easy. I said not too hard. That’s too hard! Okay, there we go. Nice form.
Make your hands perfectly symmetrical with all your fingers nice and
aero. I wonder if it’d be more aero just
to have nubs instead of fingers? What
was that cool word Dantzler said she learned in school for fingers? It sounded like ‘felatio.’ Whatever. Turtle the head! Time for a drink. Quick swig, tuck the bottle back in. Make your fingers aero, turtle the head. Don’t look at the time.
I need to pee. Too bad.
What if money weren’t
an option? What would you buy for your
bike? A powermeter, definitely. Some new Zipp wheels. Zipp Vuka handlebars. A cool paintj……WHOOOOAAAAAAA! Dog!
Where’d you come from?!?! “GO AWAY!
I DON’T WANNA PLAY!” Damn, that was close. Shit, he’s still there! This dog’s fast. Okay, hang on little fella. Meh, dropped him. Okay get ready for this next turn…..
……and accelerate! Stand and pump. Count
strokes….1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10…..Nooooooooo! Too many standing strokes! Your quads are blown and the whole day is a
disaster! Wait, simmer down! All’s fine.
Tuck in. Turtle the head. Aero hands.
I wonder if I’ll be
able to run all 6 miles after this. Stop
it. We’re not a runner yet. Not til we’re done cycling. Just think about cycling! How much longer til the end of this
interval? Don’t look. You won’t like it. Don’t look at the clock! Awwwwww!
You looked at the clock! Still 26
minutes and there are 7 more to go! Oh
damn. That’s a long time to hold this
pace. You can do it! Just get comfortable. Get aero.
Well, which is it? I dunno, just
do something. Pedal, pedal, pedal,
pedal.
I need a song to keep
me occupied. “Ain’t nothin’ gonna
break-a my stride! Ain’t nothin’ gonna
slow me do-own. Oh no, I gots to keep on
movin’!” For real? That’s the best you got?! Okay, go with it. Gosh, this is lame.
Hey, check out all
those dead bugs stuck to my shoulder!
Gross! Hey, no free rides! Wait, turtle the head! Stop looking at your stupid shoulder! But there are bugs! Tuck in, get aero! Fine.
Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal. I
wonder if my face is covered in bugs too.
Gross. My head hurts. Live with it.
Pedal. Now my back hurts. Okay stand for a sec. Quick stretch, stand and pedal but only for 8
strokes…1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10..11……Nooooooooooo! That’s way too many! You’ll blow your quads! Get back in aero. Turtle the head!
Oooh. How about Rob Zombie? “Never gonna stop me, never gonna stop!” Yeah, that’s a good song. Sing it over and over again!
Well, that’s about 2 minutes worth of a five and a half hour
ride. So, you can see it’s HIGHLY
exciting to solo 120 miles every weekend.
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